What do WIND, RAIN and STORMS have in Common with Parenting With Your Ex?

October 28th . . .

The day began as a warmish, cloudy fall day so I decided to walk to work – knowing I had a full day but feeling confident that I could get it all done.

But when I arrived at work my day rapidly began to unravel!

First, I received a scathing email from my former husband.

Then I went to post my blog and the font was messed up and the entire blog disappeared.

I had client emergencies and a son who had no school and wanted to hang out with me (how often does that happen with a teenager?)

The changing energy and mood in my office mirrored the weather outside. It was now POURING and windy outside – ensuring I’d be drenched by the time I walked home!

How is this like Parenting with Your Ex you ask?

Parenting with someone you are no longer in a relationship with can most definitely be one of the greatest challenges of life. (On good days, I look at it as one of my greatest teachers!)

All the good will you granted each other when you were in a relationship together seems to evaporate and left in its place is a stormy ride!

Clipart Image: vegadsl

So, I decided to practice what I preach! And in the middle of my blog post challenges, the disturbing email from my ex, and the client crises – I PAUSED and witnessed and named my experience.

The result, I relaxed and knew what to do . . . and went home to be with my son!

This is part of my SACRED PAUSE. Since I am not an ER doctor, it is EXTREMELY rare that I am in an emergency situation that requires immediate action. So I have plenty of time to slow down and be more mindful about what I say or do.

“By pausing, we can make a decision from our heart and one we won’t regret.” (Quoting my son here!)

Give it a try. Yes, even when (especially when) your former partner or spouse does something that is completely over-the-top – take a Sacred Pause and see what happens.

And then please share your experience with me . . .



Cat J. Zavis is an Attorney, Mediator and Coach for Divorced and Divorcing Parents. She has conducted workshops and trainings in Nonviolent CommunicationSM for hundreds of parents, lawyers, teachers, students, spiritual centers and professionals. In 2009, she was awarded a Peace Builder Award for her business. Her passion is helping parents learn how to communicate and work with their former partner or spouse so they and their children can not just survive divorce, but thrive.





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