This SUCKS – Where’s My Co-Parent?

I’ve written quite a bit about grieving and the sense of loss we feel when our marriage or relationship ends and the importance of recognizing and grieving that loss. (To read more, click here.)


Image courtesy of nuttakit/

But Tuesday, I was on my question and answer call for my upcoming program – Parenting With Your Ex: Keep Your Kids Out of the Emotional Crossfire – that begins October 1st – and on that call participants spoke not about their loss at the end of the relationship, but their struggles co-parenting with the other parent. This is a common complaint I hear from parents – their co-parent not willing to work together to address the kids’ needs. They say things such as, “He won’t cooperate.” “She’s always sabotaging things.” “He uses the kids and puts them in the middle.” “She keeps the kids from me.” The list goes on and on.

And it was then I that identified that there is a second loss that often occurs after divorce. In addition to the loss of the marriage, the future dreams for the family, the loss of time with one’s kids, when parents don’t effectively co-parent, there is a second sense of loss and grief. One that is equally powerful and painful to the divorce itself. Parents so desperately want to do what’s best for their kids but are blind-sided by their emotions and often can’t see the forest for the trees. Parents intellectually know that fighting with each other certainly is not best for the kids. In addition, it’s exhausting, exasperating and an unnecessary waste of one’s life energy.

Yet, it happens. And before you can begin to shift the dynamic, you need to recognize the incredible grief at THIS loss. In my program, I walk you through the six stages of grieving and share tools and techniques to help you navigate those stages so that you can begin to reclaim your life energy and redirect it into a powerful force for your own healing and your children’s well-being.

Simply complaining about or blaming the other parent will not change anything. But you can do things that will change the dynamic and give you a sense of power.

To learn how, join me beginning October 1st in my program, Parenting With Your Ex: Keep Your Kids Out of the Emotional Crossfire.

Hope to “see” you there.


In Support and Service ~

Signature for Cat J. Zavis, Coach for divorced parents




CatProfileCat J. Zavis is an Attorney, Mediator, Child Advocate and Coach for Parents co-parenting their children after divorce. As a divorced mother of 2, she deeply understands the challenges, trauma and opportunities divorce provides. She has been practicing Nonviolent Communication, Mediation and Collaborative Law for 7 years. She conducts workshops and trainings in Nonviolent Communication for parents, lawyers, teachers, students, spiritual centers and professionals. In 2009, she was awarded a Peace Builder Award for her business. Her combination of personal experience and professional expertise give Cat a unique perspective and ability to help co parents learn to communicate effectively and powerfully to transform their relationships and interactions with their former after divorce so they and their children can thrive.

Cat can be reached at

Speak Your Mind