Thank You to the Kids of Divorced Parents

Dear Children of Parents Who No Longer Live Together:

I am deeply grateful for the lessons you have taught me. It is with humbleness and awe that I work with you and your parents and that I parent you myself. The challenges you face and the unrest you overcome is inspiring. We undoubtedly do not acknowledge or appreciate you often enough. Here are a just a few things I appreciate.


Regardless of how much you may struggle with one (or both) of your parents, you are always willing to try again to rebuild your relationship with your parents and to be heard. This is so regardless of how many times you’ve tried to be heard before. You have an uncanny ability to forgive and keep your hearts open when most adults would give up and walk away. Thank you for modeling forgiveness. We have a lot to learn from you.


I often see that you simply refuse to let yourself be put in the middle. You tell your parents to stop bad-mouthing each other or passing messages back and forth using you as the medium to do so. This is a huge gift and shows your commitment to loving both of your parents and to not taking sides regardless of the challenges and faults the parents have with and see in each other.


You grow up with parents who do not live together and thus in some ways live disjointed lives. With two homes, your belongings go back and forth as do you. And then your parents sometimes get frustrated with you because you forget something at the other house and need to run over there. Parents need to think about this for a minute. How well would parents navigate living in two homes? How often would parents misplace clothes, (home)work, ipods, phones, and other things that matter to them? Yet you kids do this rather seamlessly. This is really unbelievable.

My deepest gratitude and heartfelt awe to each and everyone of you. Thank you for your patience, resilience, forgiveness, compassion and strength. You are a gift to us all and the world.

I’d love to hear your appreciation . . .


In Support and Service ~

Signature for Cat J. Zavis, Coach for divorced parents




CatProfileCat J. Zavis is an Attorney, Mediator, Child Advocate and Coach for Parents co-parenting their children after divorce. As a divorced mother of 2, she deeply understands the challenges, trauma and opportunities divorce provides. She has been practicing Nonviolent Communication, Mediation and Collaborative Law for 7 years. She conducts workshops and trainings in Nonviolent Communication for parents, lawyers, teachers, students, spiritual centers and professionals. In 2009, she was awarded a Peace Builder Award for her business. Her combination of personal experience and professional expertise give Cat a unique perspective and ability to help co parents learn to communicate effectively and powerfully to transform their relationships and interactions with their former after divorce so they and their children can thrive.

Cat can be reached at

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