How Do You Handle A Curve Ball?

As a mediator, collaborative lawyer and conflict resolution coach, I feel sad, disappointed and confused when I struggle to be able to transform conflicts in my personal life into connection and understanding. I value embodying the practices in my daily life that I teach and share with others in my work. Yet, I’m aware that differences are inevitable and that there is struggle in life. I am not perfect and while my Virgo tendency is to expect perfection, I constantly work to find peace in my imperfections.

I once read that a Japanese baseball player, of the Babe Ruth stature, said that when he gets up to bat he sees the pitcher as his partner – serving up an opportunity for him to hit a home run every time. So I’ve been trying to embody this in my life.

As baseball players and teenagers, my sons often throw me curve balls. Sometimes I strike out and sometimes I hit a home run. Most often, it is somewhere in between! But now, instead of dreading these interactions, they have a light and playful energy to them. Can I hit home run? How about a triple? I laugh when I strike out and feel grateful when I don’t! I’m improving – sometimes slowly other days more quickly. Just like the real game of baseball, each interaction is a practice and opportunity for growth and learning.

When your former spouse/partner, your child, spouse/partner, colleague, or parent throws you a curve ball, how do you respond? Can you use those moments of dis-ease and dis-comfort in your life as invitations to deepen your growth and learning? Can you find a lightness and playfulness to those moments so you can find peace in the face of conflict?

The choice (although not always easy) is YOURS!

As always, I welcome your feedback and thoughts. Please share a comment below.

In support and service ~

Cat J. Zavis is an Attorney, Mediator and Coach for Divorced and Divorcing Parents. As a divorced mother of 2, she deeply understands the challenges, trauma and opportunities divorce provides. She has been practicing Nonviolent Communication, Mediation and Collaborative Law for 7 years. She has conducted workshops and trainings in Nonviolent Communication for hundreds of parents, lawyers, teachers, students, spiritual centers and professionals. In 2009, she was awarded a Peace Builder Award for her business. She has taught at universities in Western Washington on diverse topics such as Women and the Law, Constitutional Law, and Communication. Her combination of personal experience and professional expertise give Cat a unique perspective and ability to help clients learn to communicate effectively and powerfully to transform their relationships and interactions with their former partner or spouse so they and their children can thrive.

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