Divorced and Children ~
Wanna Go Shopping . . .
This Too Shall Pass!
The other day I wanted to go shopping. Now you have to understand I HATE shopping. Seriously, I really hate shopping.
You may wonder why I would want to go shopping. Well, I wondered the same thing and began to explore where that desire was coming from. So, as I was walking my dog alone feeling a desire to go shopping I let myself sink into my body and the feeling of desire and just be present with that.
What I discovered surprised me. I wanted to go shopping because I felt lonely and empty and wanted to fill-up that void. I have to say that a “yuck” feeling overcame me – I want to go shopping to fill a void. Ugh. Rather than go further down that self-judgmental path or take action and go shopping, I let myself be present with those feelings.
Let me tell you, it was not easy. I wanted to crawl out of my skin. But instead, I dug deeper and became alive to me. I asked myself, what I was wanting rather than what was missing in my life. When I searched there, I became aware of my desire for connection and meaning and stayed present with that.
I “did” nothing. And amazingly, the desire to shop, the feelings of loneliness and emptiness, the void, all passed and I became present to my connection and fun with my dog, the beautiful trail I was walking on, the awesome clouds and sky and found meaning once again in the present moment.
As always, I love to hear your thoughts and comment. Please post them below.
In service ~
Cat J. Zavis is an Attorney, Mediator and Coach for Parents co-parenting their children after divorce. As a divorced mother of 2, she deeply understands the challenges, trauma and opportunities divorce provides. She has been practicing Nonviolent CommunicationSM, Mediation and Collaborative Law for 7 years. She conducts workshops and trainings in Nonviolent CommunicationSM for parents, lawyers, teachers, students, spiritual centers and professionals. In 2009, she was awarded a Peace Builder Award for her business. Her combination of personal experience and professional expertise give Cat a unique perspective and ability to help co parents learn to communicate effectively and powerfully to transform their relationships and interactions with their former after divorce so they and their children can thrive.
photo credit: sippakorn
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